The Sky Has Turned Red!!!

February 2006

How do you handle change? I have pondered over this question since seeing the transformation of a good friend of mine from the little sister I used to know to the estranged being seated across myself at the conference room.

True. The one thing constant about the world is change. How to face change is another story. What would you do if for all your life you have grown accustomed to greeting old Ben each morning on your way to school and then one day just hear of his passing away? Would you mourn for him because he was such a pleasant person? Would you long for those same old days when you could say hello and he would acknowledge you with a smile? Will you miss him…at all?

I missed my little sister after that first day at the conference room. At the same time I abhorred estrangement that became of her. How could one person savor change without reckoning its turn-about? How could she have embraced it all and pushed me away? Perhaps, I am not anymore needed in her circle. And maybe this change entailed to be rid of my nuisance from her world.

We change for the better. Whatever it takes to have that is not synonymous to breaking friendships and isolation. And for whatever reason, change should be handled in a manner, which doesn’t rotate anyone else’s world over 360 degrees. Doing so would be bringing about disappointments and heartbreak.

I am disappointed and heartbroken at what has become of us after that meeting. This mixed emotions were borne of not knowing the cause to the effects of her sudden indifference, because I had not foreseen this to take place. I am angry the fact that I wasn’t ready for this; the possibility of losing another beautiful person in my life that I have gained with much care and trust. Losing her is like diving into a well of icy cold water and then warming up in an oven. Yes! It sounds crazy and abrupt, because right now my heart is racing with the madness that I feel inside after all these unwanted circumstances.

I hate goodbyes. I don’t remember now how many times I have said it. And because this goodbye was brought about by change, I hate change! If it is no excuse to be blatant, I am just releasing this turmoil once and for all. I’ll be okay from then on to go along with this change so that by tomorrow I wouldn’t be surprised to wake up to a red sky.

Copyright ©2006 Theren Alexander