Road Signs

I’ll never forget that one huge chapter of my life when I was placed before yet the greatest trial which involved almost everyone significant, in order for me to find out who are really there for me in all or just the heck of it.


I was crying unstoppably on the bus on my way home as I don’t customarily take the MRT for my own personal reasons (none of which I am obliged to tell you), did the realization hit me that no one really chooses to be an island if not brought about by circumstances that shock you as they are actually allowed to happen by the people you have held high regards for… all this time; The people you thought will stick it out with you come what may. If this turning point in my life caused me to not believe any more easily and quickly in truisms like “A friend in need a friend in deed”, or “I’ll be there for you I swear”, for WHATEVER they are supposed to mean in your insubstantial understanding, they mean nothing to me now until you really deserve it.


Forgive me for saying this, but I have taken on a more realistic approach in this new life I am venturing and rebuilding…


So there I was on the bus, usual me on a usual seat near the exit doors by the window, looking out for billboards of Sam Milby and Geoff Eigenman, only this time with a little more pinch of sentimentality just to make the scene more dramatic. I would look out from the window as always while we journeyed to our bus stops in the event of our individual homecomings from the day’s particular turnover. However, the man behind the wheel seemed to have sensed all the drama since I boarded his meek vehicle that he turned up the volume for some timely rhythm and blues.


Yes! If I was anyway in my evil form that exact time I would have immediately gone up to the driver’s seat and maneuvered dangerously just to make myself heard. But I wasn’t. I was calm and sober. I couldn’t even maneuver myself back to my sanity, so who was I to think ill of the driver, even when the sad songs he played on the stereo really drove me nuts?


I listened to my heartbeat and cried.


This scene went on for sometime as people from all walks of life went up and down from the bus where some seated next to me while others looked for seatmates elsewhere, and that it struck me how our lives are actually like that scene on the bus. I was aware that the people surrounding me in that transportation during that land trip were eventually wondering why my tears shed heavily from my eyes. I was also aware that they must’ve thought I was a lunatic at some point in that ride. The people surrounding us in real life could be compared to those we encounter in our daily travels. Whether we find them at bus and train stations, the pier or the airport, we encounter them unexpectedly like the friends we never knew we could have. Then we get to filter in time those who would mindlessly just drop off without looking back and those who will get off with you at your stop even if it will mean to go all the way back to his or her own.


In my life, I can only count on my fingers the people I know will go down from the bus at my stop. I know I needn’t mention one by one who they are. I have been to and from several journeys already. In all those times, I may have lost my way, taken detours and even reroutes. Now I reckon that for all those times I have picked to seat near the exit doors by the window aisle, I have failed to point my customary lookouts from those billboards towards the finer perspective. That was to lookout for road signs that were vital in leading me to the right direction.


On that one tearful day on the bus, I sobbed to the irony of reaching out to more than twenty people only to find just one at the end of the line…


© Theren Alexander 2008