Pine Trees, Fine Sands, Manila & Sunny Hills

It started to echo in my senses when Jenny gave birth to Kent Bryan. On the verge of 27 and at the height of my career, did Leah’s realization strike me to awaken?

She says, "I am a SPARE TIRE of a SPARE CAR driven by a SPARE DRIVER towards a SPARE PARKING LOT." Park it there and it is more like sitting back trying to enjoy a Grande serving of the tazo mint tea, looking miserably relieved and resurrected…but stuck as replacement and just that; Like the Tazo, a temporary therapy.

Agree, Best, you know that you have enjoyed it, eh?

So, then on the verge of 27, and seeing Jenny already with two cuddly kids, I move to become the dreamer to just the DREAM. When I was barely fifteen, I told myself I wanted one girl and one boy for my kids, next to a loving husband who will see me through my mood swings and unsettled state of mind.

My friends told me that as we move along in our individual journeys in life, we get there. Up till now, I still have my friends...except that. It is unfair however, to want it even when I put no effort to search for it, because up until this time, I have not affirmed the extent in my desire to pull the breaks in the garage.

I went to Baguio City as a treat and retreat for myself, along with a group unofficially called the Club of Single Ladies. It is unofficial because the connotation is not literal.

Baguio versus Boracay, despite that I love the beach and hate the cold, I look forward for another time with the pine trees than the fine sands. We were there whilst the rain and all but we had so much fun. I think we enjoyed it the most because after a very long imprisonment in our world of shelves, measuring tools, selling areas...our freedom equated with strawberry jam.

It was beautiful in Baguio, especially with the little swan boats fulfilling a temporary dream of becoming the swan princess, the company of Nyen, Mitch, Ty, Cess and a whole lot of engaging conversations. It was fun filled with laughter, recollections and realizations to savor. I will remember Baguio sweetly amidst missing my friends in those girls. This experience with them has made me manage to set aside the crisis in my life, even as it was momentary.

And just two days before seeing my doom again, I was able meet up with new and long time friends, which made the getaway a lot more enjoyable …a lot less forgettable. Yes, of course, there was no coffee to speak of in the presence of Filipino and Ricky, but yes we did get our caffeine dose from the regular coke (I insisted on DIET!).

It was great fun, getting a hug from each of them. But, it was great pain to think from where I currently am; I am missing a life I should be enjoying already. And looking back to my point of origin, it has opened my eyes to everyone else that has moved on from the usual nook to the avenue.

The time I spent with Lord Rowel and Ryan, I had in mind nothing like that. They made me feel reincarnated from the grave. Ryan’s time was swift and elusive; short lived yet grand. I failed to tell you how much I wanted to thank you for the restoration of my lost soul…

We watched THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, a great movie alongside a great companion. The movie, which had me down thinking about so many things, that affects me constantly at work – the work place and the worker. The companion who kept telling me to look up and ahead for life’s surprises; who gave his undivided attention to the stranger from the wilderness.

The time of my life…I am missing…

There was nothing to go back to except for the anticipated morning walks which was missed in two weeks; the hilltops and trek partner. Did you know how hard it was to get on that plane knowing I will once again jump into the hellhole? Had it not been for the excitement to see my mornings, conversations and coffee, there was no relief and relent.

Just after the spree, though, it is as sullen but not too much. I am back to reality and faced with my wreck, but this time at least, I get to look back at all the good things that have transpired when I frown. In some ways I have re-lived the life I miss and always miss…until I get there.

When I had fun under the Baguio rain with the girls, Liempo at Ricky’s, Bihon at Jenny’s, a meal with Ryan and Tea and Spaghetti with Rowel. These are what keep me head on and positive.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: When it rains…it pours! (Just a thought to help you be OPTIMISTIC)

i move on from here...to speak more of later...

Copyright ©2006 Theren Alexander