June 12, 2007 (01:45PM)
When I think of you…I have lost the battle…lost it, big time this time! You are like snake poison that I want to be free from, but you are inside of me, entwined with my soul…
I weaken…I die…
How do you move on from a life you have gotten so used to? It is a life with you, not away from you. Over time I hang in there. I hang over the reality that those feelings of love I have of you, I have them with me still. These are feelings I can never seem to get over from the toxic.
I love you…I always do…all this time.
I deny it over and over again and still wake up next to it by my bedside the following day. It is crazy. I am crazy. How can you love someone that much, without reciprocity? And still live it like it was your every breath of fresh air to survive and revive.
How do you go on from here when you know there is a missing piece to your puzzle?
Perhaps I could be the longest running martyrdom on prime lifetime, but yes up to this time there was not one relationship I was into which could ever live up to that one great love I had at sixteen. Yes it is a rerun over and out. Yes it is what my “used to be” good friend would brand as a “broken piece of record”. However, this rerun and broken piece of record are what I can never get enough of, it is what I have hung onto for ever which is what is also keeping the stagnation in synchrony with the dwelling. Pathetic you would say. What else? It just is. Not like I can help it.
“If there was ever any significant reason what caused our momentum rift from each other, what used to be and what we looked forward to for the two of us…
You initiated those steps backwards…
You made a choice and took a stand away from US.”
Tomorrow you will still be…
The beautiful memory I awake with; the emotions to my melodies and lullabies;
My prologue and epilogue; my prequel and sequel;
You will forever be my never-ending chase to a life I can never paint…
My phantom;
My mystery;
My fallen grace…
Copyright ©2007 Theren Alexander
“If there was ever any significant reason what caused our momentum rift from each other, what used to be and what we looked forward to for the two of us…
You initiated those steps backwards…
You made a choice and took a stand away from US.”
Tomorrow you will still be…
The beautiful memory I awake with; the emotions to my melodies and lullabies;
My prologue and epilogue; my prequel and sequel;
You will forever be my never-ending chase to a life I can never paint…
My phantom;
My mystery;
My fallen grace…
Copyright ©2007 Theren Alexander
3 comments:
YOU LOVE TOO DEEPLY. YOU SHOULD LEARN TO BREAK FREE SOMETIME. FEELINGS ARE OKAY, BUT WE HAVE TO BE COOL AT CERTAIN MOMENTS, TO BREATHE.
INSPIRING ENTRY!
After reading this I wanna be in love again...
in love, you have to consider many things...
you must be also prepared for its outcome...
it maybe a bed of roses or the other way around...
never the less it most be a learning experience that you have to remember...
even it is good or bad...
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