Thoughts for the Dawn...little pleasures of the mind, scribbled out of great inspirations from the hidden dungeon of her heart...

Friday, July 21, 2006

Julius Caesar

By: Theren Alexander
(11:40 A.M. 07/18/06)

Remember how we started out? That first phone call I got from you? And how I rewarded it with my heated state of mind? And how, in spite of that, you still summed up your courage to tell me you admire me. I just failed to tell you I admired you as well because of that. I failed to let you know how up until this day, I long for a time when I can redo all the bad I have done to someone who couldn't be anything else but good to me; someone who have, for always remained wanting just the BEST for me.

Yet I hesitated...disregarded your goodbye.

This epistle is written with much thought of you, and how come I lost you.

Everything I have missed out on getting across to you I will write here. It is over I agree, because I chose to end it that soon. That reality I have in mind, and that
I have accepted. However, I see it as not a lost opportunity to also sum up my courage and tell you...

I wish I stayed instead of having gone ahead to pursue my dream of chasing Paris. I could have been a little more reasonable with how I let things transpire. I had the option to choose you over my pride.

But things happen for a reason. I believe it was fate that we should part even before we got together. I trust that for both of us there is yet a better sunrise to arise. One day, we will sit back and think how silly we have become at that certain point in our lives.

It was a sacrifice you made. A risk you took. It was that sacrifice I did not value and the risk I took for granted because I put more importance to my enigma and myself.

But it was also because you came at an inopportune time that perhaps it was not meant to be. Maybe, in another lifetime we could manage to synchronize our clocks.

In that time I could freely open up to you and show you what it's like in my wilderness. How many a time, people tell me they get lost when they visit and I take for granted telling them that it's just the fog and it gets swept away if they allow it.

We could have been a great pair if you stood by and read deeper into my pages. We would have been an item if those lines were digested in between. But you closed the book without even rummaging through the final chapter.

I imagined too soon that I will rest in your arms for comfort and expected much that you can go any farther than where your sacrifice and risk have already taken you.

For now, just in that other lifetime...WE CAN BE.



Copyright ©2006 Theren Alexander

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thanks