King Renzo

I have penned so many love stories in the past of others and mine. The thinnest line between being too sensitive and too insensitive results to heartbreak, and Patrick calls this latest addition a QUICKSAND.

Just when I had my whole life planned and drawn did you intend a detour towards my destruction; After I have halted two consecutive love stories between our second and third that you found it self convenient to usher me to the pit. I wanted so much to tell you after you provided reasons for my LOVE to transform into HATE that whether you are present in my life or not, I will LIVE and DIE!

Was it so easy for you to just go on and play around with me? Was I all this time just your playmate? I must have been severely drugged to have not noticed the cruel game you amused yourself in for almost three years. I respected you. I trusted you. I have built my life around you. I have loved you despite and in spite of all those celebrated judgments about us and why we are not supposed to be together. At a crucial time when you were a witness to all the important things in my life I was losing grip of, I did not beckon for you to take part in the loss.

I remember muttering one comment to one estranged friend when he finally found the time to ask me how I was doing. I said, “I am broke and broken hearted…” Then having related such quip to Patrick, I told this other fellow, whilst an unwarranted laughter. “That is the funniest joke you can ever hear from the saddest person in the world!”

There were people constantly there who told me I will be able to surpass this like a pro, but, guess again! I spent two weeks of not sleeping and not eating. The proximity didn’t help to make the situation any easier for me.

I would like to believe in what Nyen believed in when she said, “Love triangle? You’ll be fine, Theren. You’ve experienced a lot and you’re going stronger.”

Have I? That means until this time I haven’t learnt? Enough to say actually, the third breakup with the same guy, my on again off again love affair, has already become the whirlwind I have grown accustomed to enjoy. Perhaps, a shrink could fix that.

I recall my one-day application at a prestigious BPO company when I amused the interviewer with my rendition of a three-minute impromptu talk to test my communication skills when I said, “If Mitch Albom wrote about "The 5 People You Meet in Heaven" and Jessica Zafra replied with a book on "The 500 People You Meet in Hell", I wanted to mediate and write a book on The Rest of the People You Meet on Earth.”

The interviewer looked at me pensively, perhaps thinking what was really going on inside my head at that time. Had she known I was going through a great healing period at that point in my life, maybe she would’ve been able to decipher that the book I am thinking to finish writing would significantly include The Heartbreaker who thought he was Don Juan DeMarco, The Broken Hearted who needed to LEARN and LET GO and The Mistresses who thought they were GRETA, as I have gone through the same episode from three consecutive men each involving three other women.

One day I will be able to let go of the things that were meant to turnaround for my wisdom and growth and bravely look back at them with a nod and a smile for the lessons I harvested along the way.

One day I will be able to forward the same quotes of empathy to my friends who are yet to go through what I have gone through several times, just to help lessen the pain:

From Oweng:

“When things are down and your hope is gone, remember I’m here to cheer you right on. Because through the bad times when smiling is hard to do I’ll stop my own world just to be with you.”

From Leah:

“Sometimes you have to fall from the mountain to realize what you are climbing for…”

From Chris:

“There are times when we feel like giving up. But we should remember that God is teaching us to trust in His timing. Don’t get in a hurry. Don’t grow impatient. Don’t try to force doors to open. Don’t try to make things happen in your strength. Let God do it His way. God has a timetable for all our heart’s desires.”

“Don’t be sad. There is plenty of time to be dead!”

From Tyrine:

“There comes a point in our lives when the heart grows tired, it grows numb from hate, it stops beating for love, and it runs out of compassion. It doesn’t soften from pain but because of insensitivity…because it simply wants to MOVE ON and live an UNCOMPLICATED life…”

When that one day comes, I will have finished the final chapter of The Rest of the People You Meet on Earth and it would include the man who will fill in the space from where you left off…


© Theren Alexander 2008