TWILIGHT

Hi. The greeting sounds rather abashed, more so, arrested. However, there it went. I cannot think of a better way to open this letter I am writing for you, maybe because I guess, at this point when I don’t already know where I stand in your life, I deemed it best to start it that way.

I MISS YOU.

For the longest time now I had hoped I could say that to you personally. I know this epistle may seem already worthless by the time you get to read it. But, whatever circumstance it may be, I hope you will allow me to even just get my message through to you. So that I may impart to you what your presence and absence in my life has caused me to become and the many bitter and wonderful things I have come to realize in the long run. All the things that I am thankful of for the growth and wisdom it has brought me.

Thank you. For coming into my life so unexpectedly and for making it an experience that brought forth so many awakenings which in time ushered me the maturity I needed to gain.

Thank you. For the friendship I never knew I could have and never bothered to cherish while it lasted. It has made me become a better friend.

Thank you. For the lessons you have unselfishly imparted during our private rendezvous, for I have become more sensitive of other people’s feelings now and released from my autism.

Thank you. For the affection and concern you have showered me with because I learnt of the value I upheld in your life.

Thank you. For the honesty you have shown me and kindness in all those times I have chosen to rather deny you just to make way for my most celebrated righteousness.

Probably, at times you may have thought this to yourself that I would soon come to my senses for sticking with my choice just so I can live by my pride. Sometimes I think that of myself as well, for being the loser that I am today. Back then, YOU and I just seemed too good to be true. But, this time, I am humbled saying I made a mistake for choosing him instead of you. I didn’t choose you just because he was already there before you came, and that I chose to be faithful.

That faithfulness served its purpose in spite of the infidelity reciprocated. What I learned though in time was, perhaps everything had to take place like they were supposed to just the way the wheel of life should spin.

So in search of my HAPPINESS I say…

Goodbye to my bitterness and qualms.

Goodbye to my lonely and dark disposition!

Goodbye to my hesitations and apprehensions!

Goodbye to my innocence and naiveté!

Goodbye to you…

In order for me to have a happy ending I need a new beginning and I can never have that until I grab the first opportunity that comes along. Our lives evolve in one great mystery. We can never be too sure of the chances and circumstances that pave our way…but whether good or bad, there is never a better way for us to find out the difference unless we face it head on.

i LOVED you…

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“When you can live for ever what do you live for?” – Stephenie Meyer (TWILIGHT)

© Theren Alexander 2008