Thoughts for the Dawn...little pleasures of the mind, scribbled out of great inspirations from the hidden dungeon of her heart...
Monday, December 1, 2008
SLEEPING awake...
I had always been fascinated by the dark, never got scared of it, I think I have said it once or several times in this blogsite. I love everything about black. My fascination for the color black is like my eternal love for the shade of blue. I am altogether into dark and heavy colors.
I had once written here about my resident nightmare.When I was younger I never really bothered with the struggle I had to go through because each time it happened I survive the fight anyway. I don't know if I was always that strong or if he just lets me survive.
In the past, I remember also that there were several incidences when I SLEEP WALK and SLEEP TALK. My relatives would relate to me fondly the next day,that if they don't find me under the bed, I would be sleeping by the stairscase or somewhere by the entrance to the house. They would tell me that when I talk in my sleep, I spoke a different language.
I know what you are thinking...
Yes it can be psychological, spiritual, medical, name it and be my guest. It can be a lot of things. Whatever it is, I just want to find out. Because it is freaking me out!
My best friend just moved into a new condotel unit in Rockwell Makati and I slept over at his place last November 23. I slept beside Oweng on his bed that night. Normally, my Grim Reaper would only pay a visit when I am alone in the room. Always when I am alone.However, that night he attacked three times and the next day when I opened up to Oweng he said he heard me moaning like I was being raped. Again my arms felt like they just came from being forced and squeezed. It was that night when I first saw my attacker's face. It was green and ugly, he had a pair of somewhat laid back red eyes, like dimmed red light or at least that was as far as I could remember. He kept on attacking me even when I was already awake.
Last November 30, when I went over Oweng's pad again,I dozed for a nap after watching Heroes Season 3 (the incomplete pirated dvd! lol), and it was at around two in the afternoon. There was another attack. This time,he wasn't forcing himself to me. He was banging on my head profusely. If I could manage to talk that time I would have suggested: SO KILL ME ALREADY! or GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH!
Throughout my years since childhood, I have had these attacks, and everytime it happens under no particular date or time, I would feel like completely being paralyzed. On November 23 specifically, I could hear myself screaming outrageously, but I wasn't screaming and I couldn't move a muscle.
Thus it led me to a quick search:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nightmare
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream
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Whatever it is...I DON'T LIKE IT. I just want a normal happy life...
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© Theren Alexander 2008
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6 comments:
Pray. It's the strongest armour!
ms theren try not to think too much or try not 2 b depress...
mas madalas sya na dyan sa yo if u r having problems...
try to relax yorself b4 u go to bed...
pray...
para po mawla po sya as sub-conscious mo...
i wll always try to b here 4 u...
Theren, I'm in Manila. Spare me one sleepless night and lets talk. Already emailed you my local number. Hope to hear from you!
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You haven't written in a while. I'm back down under. Thank you for one sleepless night =)
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